Sunday, February 03, 2008

I don't know these people.......

So last night was a family event night. Those that know me know that I am the youngest of seven kids and have parents that are a good bit older than me. It's fine. That's my life and that is the cross I was born to bear. It's called being CATHOLIC.

That's what you get when you are the product of a strict, ultra Catholic family that believes in family planning. Pop out a kid, wait 3-4 years, pop out another kid, abstain, use no other protection other than God's will and hope that the "pull out" method works every time. So as a result, you have this huge families with 7 kids or so where the oldest kid is about 23 years older than the youngest kid.

That's my life and I always view family gatherings with a great deal of amusement as I still realize that when my family gets together, I realize that I STILL do not know these fucking people. Seriously.

At this point in my life, I am still getting to know my oldest brother and I find out things about him that make me go "what the fuck!".

So last night was another opportunity to hang out with these strangers and always, I come away both confused and amused. Don't get me wrong, I actualy LOVE my family and they have gotten me through some very tough periods in my life.... but I still don't know these fucking people.

BROTHER #1 - the oldest brother. He is a good 28 years older than me and I actually have a niece that is older than me. I really don't know alot about him except he likes to party, owns a liquor distributorship, and gives me bottles of Patron whenever I need them. He also loves Virginia Tech football and revealed himself to be a staunch Democrat when for years have secretly resented him for being a George W Bush supporter. Seriously, that blew my mind.

Also, his daughter, my niece, has resented me most of my live because I took a lot of childhood attention away from her because I was the youngest. My niece has twin boys which are ill behaved and yes, I am a great uncle. I feel hella old.

SISTER - The only sister of 7 kids. My family is not good at producing females apparently. She has probably changed the most of any of my siblings as I grew up as I really think she tried to make me a little sister when I was younger. Apparently, she hoped that every kid my parents had would be that sister but no dice.

To be honest, she is kind of a bitch and is really kind of two faced. Her husband is Stan from "American Dad". He has had a career in the CIA and FBI and has been more of a brother to me than a random brother in law. He loves that GW Bush though and both he and my sister are kind of zealous Repubs. Karma has rewarded them with two hellcat sons.... one of the sons had a kid out of wedlock (a mortal sin in their eyes) and as fate would have it, their grandkid is a boy as well. So far, the boy to girl ratio in my family is 6 boys, 2 girls. It gets worst.

BROTHER #2 - Is 21 years older than me and probably the brother I am the closest with. He has two sons, one years older than me and the other my age. He is a staunch Democrat and really has supported everything I have ever done. His kid is basically my twin brother and of all the siblings, probably spend 75% of my time with this brother and his family. In a lot of ways, he is my substitute dad as my Dad was 50 when I was born.

His oldest son was the first kid to bring bastard kids into the family as he had a son when he was 18. It was interesting to hear the snarky comments my sister made until her kid had a bastard kid a few years later. See what I was saying about my family producing boys? It's an 10-2 count so far with the kid and grandkid count.

BROTHER #3 - Kind of the "loser" of the family although he and I get along very well. He had 2 failed marriages and each of his ex wifes were equally psychotic. He is a Boy Scout executive and even though he is really right wing, he keeps it to himself and is really accepting. His first daughter is a spoiled brat and has a spoiled brat daughter that she is pushing into beauty pageants at an alarmingly early age. (insert eye roll). He had a son and a daughter from his second marriage and despite having a psychotic mom, they seem very normal. It's weird as even though this brother is kind of the "black sheep" his kids seems to adore him the most.

He did bring some estrogen into the family though as we are now at 12-5.

Now at this point, my parent went about 10 years without having kids. Apparently four was enough. Then came:

BROTHER #4: This one confuses me as we are only 8 years apart but as much as I think I know him, I know him even less. He's been married twice and the second wife is overbearing and a loon. But she is fun. Her Dad looks like John McCain and that kind of creeps me out but the real change is my brother. He used to be this really fun hellraiser, now he is a huge Republican. On every aspect except the gay marriage thing. He thinks that is fucking stupid. But other than that, he is a GW Bush clone.

He seems to be constantly changing. He used to drink alot, then found God and stopped, then apparently got pissed at God and drinks again. He's fun though and I love spending time with his right wing ass. He has a boy and a girl that I adore and his kids are the reason I want to have kids one day,

BROTHER #5: My closest sibling is also the most frustrating. I really don't know him anymore. I used to raise all kinds of hell with this guy, and did all kinds of things that make you fondly remember your childhood. Then he met a rich girl, got married, became a Republican and changed. Weird. He already ahs 2 boys, which makes me wonder how many kids they are going to have. His wife is determind to have a girl .... but as you can see, boys outnumber girls 17-6 so far....

I dunno why I posted all this shit..... but really after last night, all I know about my family is on this page.

Am I really that detached....

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Why not Kucinich???

Sooo I got a message from one of my friends yesterday telling me I should take the Kucinich stuff off my website because it is over for him. And seriously, I don't fucking get it.

I have to admit that I am NOT that thrilled with my Democrats after taking power in 2006. It's kinda like tearing into junk food when you are starving. Great and satisfying at first, but then you feel like shit a short time later and wish that you had settled for something better.

So I ask you this....... WHY are we settling for Hillary and Obama when we have a candidate right in front of us that supports our views????

Once again, people make me sick saying they are voting for Hillary cause she is a woman and Obama because he is black. And then the national pundits wonder is Obama is truly black enough? Its all bullshit, nad all of my fellow Dems are sheep, sheep, sheep.

If you really wonder which candidate it the blackest, look at the short white guy from Ohio. Think back to martin Luther King and what he stood for. King said that the triple evils of his day were militarism, racism, and economic exploitation. He said that these interests worked against the interests of humanity and the the Vietnam War and other US wars in the third world were evil manifestations of American militarism and an attempt to prevent other peoples from making "their arrival as full men" in the world ---- a reference to the underlying racism and economic exploitative nature of US Foreign Policy.

And everything old is new again. Applying King's theory to the current Iraq war and possible Iraq conflict, both Obama and Hillary fail miserably. Obama wants to add 100,000 troops to the U.S. Armed Forces, at a cost of over $100 billion - even as he proposes partial withdrawals from Iraq. Clinton seeks 80,000 new soldiers and Marines. As sure as the sun rises, a bigger U.S. military means more wars, and no money for domestic "change."

So it's Kucinich.

Personally, I have never had a candidate that mirrors me so well. Of all the major issues, we disagree only on the "No Child Left Behind" Act. I think that piece of crap should be abolished and he wants it maintained as the plan that Bush promised, not what actually happened.

What about Obama? We disagree on maintaining the Patriot Act, continuing the Iran Sanctions, and same sex marriage. It's not as clear what our differences are on the Kyoto Treaty and possible military action against Iran.

Hillary? It's even worse. She thinks that states should have their own say in setting the death penalty, supports the No Child Left Behind, Patriot Act and continued sanctions against Iran and possible military action against Iran. In addition she denies same sex marriages. But she does support civil unions and the Kyoto Treaty so I will trade that for the NCLB act.

And Edwards? Pretty much a mirror image of Hillary except he is confusing on the Kyoto Treaty.

So, we have basically the same candidate three ways pushed at us...

Or we have Kucinich. A candidate that really does think the way I do.

So if you are a huge Hillary and Obama supporter and are already spouting cliches when asked why you spooort them.... go here and see if they truly support YOU.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

American Idiots

Just a whole bunch of rants that have been building up today that I really need to let loose with.
So I will try to keep my thoughts in paragraphs. It's been a frustrating week and I need to unload....

1) When did Americans get SO fucking stupid?

It's true. We are a nation of illiterate fucks. Keep in mind that I am an insurance agent for a Fortune 100 company and I am licensed in all 50 states, so I deal with a pretty good cross section of America. And it's sad to say that America, your lack of social skills, courtesy, and general respect for others is appalling.

Part of my job is undergoing a brief analysis of the insurance candidates educational and professional background so we can determine the discounts. I would say a third of my "clients" are adults with a high school education or less. We are talking 8th, and 9th grade educations here and these people are in America's daily work force. It's painful as hell having them do something as simple as reading a VIN number or the coverages from their policy.

OF course, I know that the US school system sucks and it is possible to forge a good living without a "proper education" but when did the schools start failing us. Everything in the public schools seems to have fallen completely to shit in the last 8 years or so and it amazes me that the collapse of the school systems under Bush is not more of a rallying point among everyone.

We should be mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. But we don't give a shit.

2) Put your fucking cell phones away!!!

Enough is enough. I am sick of hearing your inane conversations at the movies, at restaurants, at the mall, at the theme parks ... wherever I go. Its really passed the point of annoying anymore and I have really limited my use of my cell in public. And I have stopped picking up the cell when I am with people. It's just fucking rude to be out with people and have one member of your party blather incessantly to someone that was invited to go out, but was too fucking lazy to go out.

I was watching a episode of Criminal Minds not too long ago about a serial killer that used a device that would jam cell transmissions before he entered a house so no one could use a cell. The Mandy Patinkin character mentioned that these only cost a couple of hundred dollars and I have been looking in vain for a pocket sized one to take to the movies with me.

I would be my own personal cell jammer when I go to restaurants, movies, or basically anywhere. Consider me a superhero against rudeness everywhere as I reach smugly into my pocket when the movie starts and effectively render every ones cellphone useless for the next hour and forty five minutes.

Kinda selfish, I admit. But this is Amerika. We are all selfish fucks.

3) Kind of an add on to point 2, but a couple of more new cell phone rules:

Get a fucking earpiece for your phone if you drive
Don't walk around all day with a blue tooth earpiece
in your ear and not be on a call.
You look like a fucking tool.
4) Can we please get some restaurants to cater to people without kids and make their restaurants a KID FREE zone???
Seriously, I know that it will be ballsy and will eliminate a lot of your possible traffic, but trust me. Give me a good steak without having to hear the screaming, yelling, kicking, and crying of some ill trained rugrats and I will pay whatever price you want to charge. And I am not alone.
Case in point: We went out last night, a group of about 8 kidless guys to a higher end steakhouse. It had been a while since we had been together as a group and we did not mind overpaying for a good steak, couple of bottles of wine, and a chance to talk for a couple of hours and catch up. It would be worth it.
So after arriving and gathering every one's cell phone and locking them in the trunk of my car (Blonde's rule, and only one of the eight objected), we found our table and starting a night of what we hoped would be peaceful catching up.
Within 10 minutes, the waitress ushered in a family of 5: a mid 30ish couple with kids of around 4, 2 and an infant. I looked at Justin and rolled my eyes and he smirked back at me and his look told me to make the most of the night. And you know what? It was fucking miserable.
Right away, the kids were screaming and bitching saying they wanted "Macdonald" instead of what passed for kiddy fare at this restaurant. So we listened to Mom yell at Justin and Brittney (no shit) for the rest of the night to behave or they were going to go right home. Meanwhile Mom gave the baby a bag or Cheerios which the little rat threw all over our table. No apology came from Mom. Just that stupid pathetic "isn't my child so cute" smile.
Dad spent the whole night on his cellphone, telling the same story of a work meeting to three different people, and when he wasn't on the cell he complained that he could not smoke and that the kids were driving him crazy. Then midway through the meal, the 4 year old, since he was not getting McDonald's turned his chair away from his family's table, facing us, and proceeded to kick the back of my friend's chair.
Mom saw him kicking the chair and told him that was rude but really did nothing else. So the parents proceeded to ignore their kid. Not getting attention, this kid started to screech and yell and threw a full fledged tantrum. And since he was facing our table, we got the brunt of the noise. Meanwhile the 2 year old has chronic diarrhea and has to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes and the parents allow him to walk himself to the bathroom.
Keep in mind instead of following the path to the bathroom (about 20 feet away) this kid has to walk UNDER our table and expect us to move for him. I refused to move and said I did not care if the kid shit his pants or not, but Mom gave me a disapproving stare. Fuck her. I still did not move and made her get up and grab her kid from under our table and I got a dirty look.
So yes. If you are an Orlando restaurant owner and your business is kind of struggling and you are reading this........ go kid free. Seriously. I dropped about $50 on my steak and drinks last night and did not really enjoy the night as I should of. If you can remove the kid irritation factor from my night, I would have gladly have paid you another $50.....
And I doubt I am not alone.........

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Idaho? No... U da ho!

The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

But it's true. Blonde is back, baby. In a new anonymous form albeit. Seems nosy co-workers and other assorted stalkers insisted in ravaging the pages of my blogs looking for shit to use against me and try to tear me down personally...... but whatever doesn't kill you, yada yada yada.

But I decided. I missed writing. And no personal shit goes in this blog. Or if there is personal shit, let me categorically say right now that it is all LIES and BULLSHIT.

If you think that Hillary Clinton is a lightning rod for the right wing to attack, you have never spent a day in Blonde's shoes. And in case you have not gathered yet, I am named after Mr. Blonde... the baddest ass to ever grace film strips.

For those that know me and remember stuff..... the personal life is great. Status quo. Email me sometime and we will chat.

For the new people, I am leaving a few of my noteworthy posts on this site for you to get an idea of what Blonde is all about. And see if you want to get on this ride.

I start off today with a tribute to the fine folks in Idaho, who besides being the home of Napoleon Dynamite and rabid sheep fuckers, are also big fans of closetted, lying, whorish, hypocritical hate mongerers.

Hall of Fame loving that is.

BOISE, Idaho - Sen. Larry Craig has been chosen for induction into the Idaho Hall of Fame, despite his well-publicized arrest and guilty plea in an airport sex sting, officials said.

The nonprofit Idaho Hall of Fame Association picked Craig in March, months before he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct after a Minneapolis airport police officer accused him of soliciting sex in the men's restroom, the organization's board chairman said.

"Larry Craig has made a great contribution to Idaho over the period of 20-some years. At the time it was considered, this other matter had not come up," Harry Magnuson told The Spokesman-Review newspaper Saturday.

But some Republicans said the honor is inappropriate now. Kootenai County Republican precinct committeeman Phil Thompson said Idaho Hall of Fame officials should consider at least postponing the induction.

"Maybe in 10 or 15 years we can think of this hall of fame stuff. Now is not the time," he said. "It's a sad day to be a Republican."

Craig vowed Thursday to serve out the last 15 months of his term, despite a court ruling that left intact his guilty plea in the sex sting operation

Now Seriously..... if the neo-cons can put THIS TRASH in a Hall of Fame ..... can we at least get some kind of a Blow Job monument for Clinton??

And 10 years later, don't you think the country getting all upset over a blow job is pretty fucking ridiculous now??

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Waking up in a new, BLUE, America

I love the smell of victory in the morning.

We have been licking our wounds for the last 6 years and today seem on the verge of total victory and control of the House and the Senate. Lest we forget, the Florida vote recount started 6 years ago TODAY.

The Blue Wave from last night is on the verge of becoming a full fledged tsunami depending on what happens in good ole Montana and Virginia.

Things are pretty much the way I left them at 3AM when I went to bed.

Jim Webb, the Dem, leads George Allen 50-49% with a vote total of 1,170,766 to 1,162,719 with roughly 33,000 votes still to be counted, most of them from Northern Virginia, aka WEBBLAND. In a scene eerily reminiscint of Florida 2000, George Allen had a speech to say he was going to bed and that every vote had better be counted. A few minutes later, Webb appeared to say "It's all over --- we won".

Virginia looks poised for a recount and legal matters but from all I am hearing, The Repubs were responsible for all the dirty tricks anyway.

Don't look for the Supreme Court to intercede in this one, kids.

It looks like all our hopes depend on Montana. YES, Montana. There, Democrat Jon Tester leads corrupt Conrad Burns 195,235 to 193,506. So I still feel pretty damn good there, although Burns has been nibbling at the lead all night. Still 1800 votes is pretty sizeable in Montana ..... it's not like 536 votes in Florida.

Over in the House, it was a blue tidal wave as the Democrats have a commanding 234-201 lead which, Mr President IS a mandate. So that means that the Dems now have subpeona power now so we will see if Nancy Pelosi is a vindictive leader or a bi-partisian one.

Personally, I'd love to see subpeonas and IMPEACHMENTS flying, but I don't think that would be good for the country. One thing this does mean is that W will have to learn to play well with others as this changes EVERYTHING.

Of course things bode well for 2008 and the Presidential race now, as Ohio appears to be back in the BLUE STATE category and even blue states that were wavering such as Pennsylvania are now a much darker shade of BLUE today.

So we got what we want.

Congrats to all the new Dems in the House and the Senate. It's our country once again.

Don't fuck it up this time.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

In spite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.....

I don't know whether to laugh or to fucking cry.

To rage against the machine or simply bend over and fucking take it.

I spent $50.00 on gas today.

Yea on ONE tank of fucking gas. It's gotten that bad.

Sad thing is I remember fondly back two years ago when I was planning a driving trip to Cincinnati for a weekend of Red's games. I was worried about gas being close to $2.00 a gallon THEN but the most I paid was around $1.75.

How I long for those days.

It's not even the gas price that I long for. The summer of 2004 was an awesome summer. So much hope with Kerry running. I was in love, the nation was on the right path, and everything was just going ... right. And the whole summer had a whole "yea it really sucks now, but things are gonna be better soon" vibe. The Democrats and help is on the way.

Now, it's just pure misery. Look around. People are fucking miserable out of their minds. And yes, it's true..... its KIND of what I wished for back after that November election ... (cue flash back effects and music to my old blog).... I think what I said was more direct:

"And all you ignorant fucks that voted for Bush, scared out of your minds by the prospect of boys kissing boys.... I say this to you directly. I HOPE YOU ARE FUCKING MISERABLE THE NEXT FOUR YEARS. Then maybe, you will realize how stupid it is to elect someone because of RELIGIOUS convictions".

Are we there yet? Are we really that fucking miserable yet?

It just pisses me off to no ends that the hope and optimism I had for this country just TWO years ago has been shattered and destroyed. Honestly we are in a fucking quagmire and there is no way of us getting out. I DON'T want to be that guy..... the guy that rants and raves about Bush and shaves his fist at the air, but I can't keep silent. So yea, I guess that's me. I'm the ranting, raving liberal fuck. Deal with it.

And I read the news. I read that in 50 years that if we continue on this course, the USA will no longer be a lone super power. We will be relegated to mid major status. And honestly that scares the fuck out of me. Our enemies have long memories and carry longer grudges and all they are waiting for is a sign of weakness to bring their atacks to our soil on a daily basis. It has happened to almost all of our European allies but never here except for 9/11. Because we had that swagger that siad do not fuck with us or our people. But that swagger is gone, a mere paper tiger of its former self. And we are vulnerable.

I mean come on, what the fuck has happened to our military now? We are undermanned and demoralized. and Neo-con's do NOT blame this on Clinton.

Remember the army that effectively ripped through Iraq in like 17 days and made Bush hang up a "Mission Accomplished" banner because we were kicking so much ass? Remember THAT army? Um hate to tell ya but that was Bill Clinton's army, bitches. Keep in mind that Bish's budget had yet to take effect when we invaded Iraq.

Now look at the situation we are in now and that is the effect Bush has had on it.

So yea. Once again, I have gotten off on a rant and probably alienated a few that wish to keep their hand in the sand and chat about things such as one night stands and cock sizes but I really can't keep quiet.

That's just me. As much as I have not wanted to become that stereotypical liberal screaming about Bush to a deaf ear, it is sadly me now.

Deal with it.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Not that I mind spending whatever it takes to get what I want, but what's the deal with the version of Brokeback Mountain in stores now? You know what I mean, the extend scenes of Heath and Jake bumping and grinding and kissing .... and having that go on for minutes after Ang yells "CUT"!!

Yea, maybe that is wishful thinking....

But are they any good extended scenes/deleted scenes in this version of Brokeback Mountain.... or do we have to wait for the four disc version special BAREBACK MOUNTAIN release???

Come on Ang, don't make us wait for that unreleased footage...but I got the feeling it's not on this release.

Sigh. I guess I'll go to Best Buy and get THIS version anyway.....

You are talking to a boy that has 3 different Star Wars Trilogy collections (2 VHS, 1 DVD), as well as 3 single DVD's of the last 3 Star War movies and just waiting for a 6 pack.....

Yea I am weird about DVD's