American Idiots

Just a whole bunch of rants that have been building up today that I really need to let loose with.
So I will try to keep my thoughts in paragraphs. It's been a frustrating week and I need to unload....

1) When did Americans get SO fucking stupid?

It's true. We are a nation of illiterate fucks. Keep in mind that I am an insurance agent for a Fortune 100 company and I am licensed in all 50 states, so I deal with a pretty good cross section of America. And it's sad to say that America, your lack of social skills, courtesy, and general respect for others is appalling.

Part of my job is undergoing a brief analysis of the insurance candidates educational and professional background so we can determine the discounts. I would say a third of my "clients" are adults with a high school education or less. We are talking 8th, and 9th grade educations here and these people are in America's daily work force. It's painful as hell having them do something as simple as reading a VIN number or the coverages from their policy.

OF course, I know that the US school system sucks and it is possible to forge a good living without a "proper education" but when did the schools start failing us. Everything in the public schools seems to have fallen completely to shit in the last 8 years or so and it amazes me that the collapse of the school systems under Bush is not more of a rallying point among everyone.

We should be mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. But we don't give a shit.

2) Put your fucking cell phones away!!!

Enough is enough. I am sick of hearing your inane conversations at the movies, at restaurants, at the mall, at the theme parks ... wherever I go. Its really passed the point of annoying anymore and I have really limited my use of my cell in public. And I have stopped picking up the cell when I am with people. It's just fucking rude to be out with people and have one member of your party blather incessantly to someone that was invited to go out, but was too fucking lazy to go out.

I was watching a episode of Criminal Minds not too long ago about a serial killer that used a device that would jam cell transmissions before he entered a house so no one could use a cell. The Mandy Patinkin character mentioned that these only cost a couple of hundred dollars and I have been looking in vain for a pocket sized one to take to the movies with me.

I would be my own personal cell jammer when I go to restaurants, movies, or basically anywhere. Consider me a superhero against rudeness everywhere as I reach smugly into my pocket when the movie starts and effectively render every ones cellphone useless for the next hour and forty five minutes.

Kinda selfish, I admit. But this is Amerika. We are all selfish fucks.

3) Kind of an add on to point 2, but a couple of more new cell phone rules:

Get a fucking earpiece for your phone if you drive

and

Don't walk around all day with a blue tooth earpiece

in your ear and not be on a call.

You look like a fucking tool.

4) Can we please get some restaurants to cater to people without kids and make their restaurants a KID FREE zone???

Seriously, I know that it will be ballsy and will eliminate a lot of your possible traffic, but trust me. Give me a good steak without having to hear the screaming, yelling, kicking, and crying of some ill trained rugrats and I will pay whatever price you want to charge. And I am not alone.

Case in point: We went out last night, a group of about 8 kidless guys to a higher end steakhouse. It had been a while since we had been together as a group and we did not mind overpaying for a good steak, couple of bottles of wine, and a chance to talk for a couple of hours and catch up. It would be worth it.

So after arriving and gathering every one's cell phone and locking them in the trunk of my car (Blonde's rule, and only one of the eight objected), we found our table and starting a night of what we hoped would be peaceful catching up.

Within 10 minutes, the waitress ushered in a family of 5: a mid 30ish couple with kids of around 4, 2 and an infant. I looked at Justin and rolled my eyes and he smirked back at me and his look told me to make the most of the night. And you know what? It was fucking miserable.

Right away, the kids were screaming and bitching saying they wanted "Macdonald" instead of what passed for kiddy fare at this restaurant. So we listened to Mom yell at Justin and Brittney (no shit) for the rest of the night to behave or they were going to go right home. Meanwhile Mom gave the baby a bag or Cheerios which the little rat threw all over our table. No apology came from Mom. Just that stupid pathetic "isn't my child so cute" smile.

Dad spent the whole night on his cellphone, telling the same story of a work meeting to three different people, and when he wasn't on the cell he complained that he could not smoke and that the kids were driving him crazy. Then midway through the meal, the 4 year old, since he was not getting McDonald's turned his chair away from his family's table, facing us, and proceeded to kick the back of my friend's chair.

Mom saw him kicking the chair and told him that was rude but really did nothing else. So the parents proceeded to ignore their kid. Not getting attention, this kid started to screech and yell and threw a full fledged tantrum. And since he was facing our table, we got the brunt of the noise. Meanwhile the 2 year old has chronic diarrhea and has to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes and the parents allow him to walk himself to the bathroom.

Keep in mind instead of following the path to the bathroom (about 20 feet away) this kid has to walk UNDER our table and expect us to move for him. I refused to move and said I did not care if the kid shit his pants or not, but Mom gave me a disapproving stare. Fuck her. I still did not move and made her get up and grab her kid from under our table and I got a dirty look.

WTF!!!!!

So yes. If you are an Orlando restaurant owner and your business is kind of struggling and you are reading this........ go kid free. Seriously. I dropped about $50 on my steak and drinks last night and did not really enjoy the night as I should of. If you can remove the kid irritation factor from my night, I would have gladly have paid you another $50.....

And I doubt I am not alone.........